And yet it would not do to plume oneself unduly on this. The advice to refrain from doing so is especially applicable to young men. They are so scarce in comparison with married couples and young girls that they have a fictitious value in this connection. Unfortunately, most of them are aware of this, and as a consequence many incline to be rather casual in the matter of responding. If a man happen to be very eligible, or very attractive, or very interesting for some reason, he becomes in great demand, and occasionally gets quite spoilt. He leaves invitations unanswered, waiting to see if something better may not turn up, and is guilty at times of the great rudeness of arriving late.

This kind of thing adds immensely to the difficulties of the hostess, and they are many. First, she has to consider whom she shall ask to meet the person in whose honour she is giving her dinner-party; or she may be simply planning a return dinner for those who have entertained her and her husband in the same way. In either case, her endeavour is - or should be - to get together a party of congenial persons who will amalgamate happily and entertain each other. An equal number of either sex is necessary to the perfect dinner-party, and it is usual to have some young people interspersed among the more mature men and women almost always present.

The names settled, the next thing is to send out the invitations. The hostess must choose whether these shall be ceremonious or informal. If the former, they must be written in the third person.

" Major-general and Mrs. Greene request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Browne's company at dinner on Thursday, December 4th, at 8.15."

The address of the sender is put in the corner low on the left. Sometimes the letters R.s.v.p. are put on the invitation, but these initials, representing a French sentence, are often replaced by the same request in English. Princess Henry of Battenberg's invitations have " An answer is requested," and some of the members of our highest aristocracy use the same form, or the rather similar one, "An early answer will oblige," or " The favour of an answer is requested."

The informal note runs somewhat as follows:

" Dear Mrs. Browne, - It will give us great pleasure if you and Mr. Browne will dine with us on Monday, the 24th, at 8.30. - Very truly yours, Mary Greene."

Answers should be ceremonious or informal in accordance with the character of the invitation, and should be worded as nicely as possible in the same way.

Mr. and Mrs. Browne accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Major-general and Mrs. Greene to dinner on Thursday, the 4th of December."

The envelope containing the answer is addressed to the hostess.

The informal reply might run thus:

" Dear Mrs. Greene, - We have great pleasure in accepting your kind invitation to dine with you on the 4th of December. - Yours very truly, Marion Browne."

N.B. - It is a mistake to write " shall have pleasure in accepting." Doing so is a present act, and needs the present tense.

how to refuse

Should the invited persons wish to refuse the invitation, it is usual for them to give some reason for doing so. To refuse without some excuse is apt to be regarded as a snub. A prior engagement is the usual pretext. An intended absence from town on the date mentioned may be pleaded, and in any case regret should be expressed.

" Colonel and Mrs. Blankney regret that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Browne's kind invitation to dine on the 17th, owing to a previous engagement."

The reason for refusal must always be given.

Dinner invitations may be sent out a fortnight, or a week, or even a few days before the date fixed. In towns a hostess sometimes gets up a dinner-party at a few hours' notice, but the general and time-honoured custom is to give from ten days to a, fortnight's notice.

The above forms of invitation and reply are those in general use among the aristocracy and the middle classes. English society is very conservative in all such matters.

It is good manners to answer a dinner invitation as quickly as possible, and more particularly if the interval between receiving it and the date of the dinner be a short one. The hostess has to make up her table, as the phrase runs, and if anyone refuses after a few days' delay, she is in the predicament of finding herself short of a guest. This threatens to spoil the symmetry of her table, even if it be a round one, as is very usual. She hesitates to invite anyone else as what is obviously a "last resource," this being a very poor compliment to pay any person The politeness of sending an early answer averts all this discomfort. Another person may then be invited to fill any vacancy without the awkwardness of having to explain the untoward circumstances.