First catch him. Many good husbands are spoiled in the cooking. Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders and blow them up. Others keep them too much in hot water, while others freeze them with icy indifference and freezing coolness. Some smother them with constant contention, hatred and variance, and some keep them in hot pickle all their lives. These women always serve them up with tongue sauce. Now it cannot be supposed that husbands will be tender and palatable if cooked in this way, on the contrary, they are tart, tough and snappish - actually good for nothing. If, however, cooked by the following recipe they are prime and delicious. Get a large jar, called the jar of faithfulness (which all good wives keep on hand), place your husband in it, and set him near the fire of conjugal love, let the fire be pretty hot, but especially let it burn clear, and above all let the heat be constant. Cover him with affectionate kindness and confidence, garnished with modest and becoming familiarity and spiced with amiable pleasantry, and if you add a few sweet kisses and other confectionaries, let them be accompanied with sufficient portion of secrecy mixed with prudence and moderation. And let the whole conjugal life be seasoned with love and devotional piety. We would advise all good wives to try this recipe and realize what an admirable dish a husband makes when properly and discreetly cooked.