For the interpretation of dreams I intend to crib somewhat, with every possible apology for paying him the compliment, from Seafield, and will further crib from Seafield himself a passage to justify my very cribbing from him. Thus he says, in writing of a crib that he is himself making from the Encyclopedia Met - ropolitana of the interpretations of Gabdorrhachaman (euphoniously named Arabian) "There is no overwhelming claim to immortality" (without a doubt he means "originality") "in the abstract, at least such a claim is rarely conceded". So we may fairly deal with Seafield according to his own measure. Indeed I do not want to crib from him any more than extracts from the interpretations of this Arabian with the long name, of Artemidorus and others. If Seafield should object, I could tell him that I had extracted them from the originals (as I might do equally well). This Arabian interpreter was translated into French by Vattier, and published in a book by the name of L'Onirocrite Mussulman.

The man who undertakes the interpretations of dreams must be wise and good. Explanations are to be drawn from the Koran and from the words of Mohammed. Proverbs and words in dreams realise themselves either to the very letter of the fulfilment or else to its contrary. And dreams vary their meaning according to the character of the dreamer; if a good man dream that his hands are tied it only signifies his aversion to the evil, but if the wicked dream the same dream it signifies his sins and their punishment Dreams dreamt just before dawn are the most likely to come true, a view which the Arabian shared with the Greeks and Romans - and those that come in the afternoon siesta are also to be trusted. Especially are dreams likely to come true if they occur at the season when the fruit is ripe. (Has this any connection with the evil nature of the dreams that attack the British schoolboy in the season of the unripe apple?)

Trees, beasts of prey and birds denote men generally, but with distinctions. Thus a palm tree denotes a useful man or an Arab (the two probably synonymous in the eye of this Arabian interpreter with the terrific name); a walnut tree denotes a foreigner and an idle cackler, because (notice the logic) the walnuts rattle in their shell A bird denotes a traveller generally (no doubt because of its locomotive gifts). The planets have their places in dreams, Saturn signifying the Chief Justice; Mars, the Commander-in-Chief; Jupiter, the Lord Treasurer or Lord Chamberlain (we imagine he would not be a severe censor of plays); Venus, the Queen; and Mercury, the Home Secretary. Mercury, we may remember, was the god of thieves, but we may hope that this is not to be taken as any reflection on our own official who holds the post designated as home secretaryship, for these are only Seafield's approximations, as I understand them, to offices of an oriental court, according to the description of Gabdorrhachaman, modified by the translation of Vattier. So the approximation is not likely to be very exact, nor need the right honourable secretary feel aspersion cast on his right honourableness.

White and red grapes are wonderfully fortunate things to dream about; "they are indeed the juice of the good things of this world," says Seafield, apparently in quotation from Vattiers translation of our long named friend, who perhaps thought all the better of the grape's juice because it was forbidden him, as a good Mohammedan. But all sorts of ill befals from dreaming of the black grape, because Noah held it in his hand while he cursed his son, and so caused it to turn black.

Apparently those old Orientals dreamed strange dreams; for our guide goes on to say that "to dream that we have our heads beneath our shoulders, without their being severed at the neck, is a sign of dismissal by a superior, and of consequent poverty". Then there is a good deal more, about the growing of the hair, its changing colour and so on. All these, being dreamed about, "mean something," as we say. As for tongues, "he who dreams that his tongue has grown to an immoderate length, will vanquish his opponent in argument if he be engaged in any controversy, but if otherwise, he will utter much folly and ribaldry; but under all circumstances, and on every occasion, few dreams can be more fortunate than that in which a man sees the tongue of his wife amputated at the root".

If any man that is married does not see the rationale of this last interpretation I am quite sure that the long named Arabian would advise him to go and ask his wife the meaning of it. He is not a little of a cynic, I imagine, apparently not a thoroughly domesticated man as we should say. "Each tooth," according to him, "points to a different relation. The two in front denote children, brother and sister; the next two, uncles, aunts and cousins, and so on to the more remote; but the Khalif Almansor took a sure mode of obtaining a happy prognostic when he dreamed that his complete set fell from his jaws." The first interpreter he consulted on this told him that he and all his relatives would die, so the Khalif sent the man away, telling him he had an evil tongue, and had another dream - teller, who said the dream meant that he would out - live all his relations. Almansor liked this a great deal better, and gave the good prophet ten thousand drachmas of gold. The moral for dream - seers is that it behoves them to be courtiers.

A man engaged to be married, dreamed, according to our Arabian, that his plighted bride was changed into a little Ethiopian dwarf. "Hasten to complete your nuptials," was the advice to be drawn from the dream, " for the blackness of the bride signifies great riches; the smallness of her statue, brevity of days."

All, with this affectionate bridegroom, seems to have gone merry as a marriage bell. He married the bride, she brought him great wealth, died in a few days, and he inherited all her fortune. Such, according to our dream - teller, is obviously the whole duty of woman.